If you hang around the links long enough you'll hear every short vowel sound, due to different dialects, to say that one word...Golf.
I LOVE golf. I love golf so much that if I lived in my own house I would get cable to watch the Golf Channel. I'm poor so I couch surf at other poor friend's parent's houses who have 60" High Def/ Flat Screen/ SeetheTitleistontheball television and cable, so that I can watch the golf channel when I'm not practicing/playing, working out or trying to find a job.
I don't just follow golf and watch every show on the golf channel 3 times over during the course of the week because they show a lot of weekly re-runs, I play too. And as of lately I play well.
I wasn't always a good golfer, but who is? I took up the game at 19 and hacked it up on a college scholarship that afforded me the ability to go to a private college and get a good business education, which I put to work everyday by placing it in the top corner of my resume and sending it out to potential places of employment.
After college, despite bringing my handicap down to a 5 from a 25 when I started, I decided to put golf on hold and focus on a Naval Aviation career in the United States Marine Corps. 11 days from Officer Candidates School graduation I broke my back at the 6th and 7th vertebrae. No worries though, I was lucky enough to recover fully and I took golf up again about a year after my injury while working as a Funeral Director in southern California.
It had been almost 18 months since I hit a golf ball after taking the game up again, but man did I love that feeling. My first day out at a course, while warming up the driving-range, the Director of Golf spotted me hitting my driver and we started talking. I told him my story about OCS and that I was wanting to get back into the game. He asked me for what purpose? I looked at him and before I could take the words back into my mouth, "I guess, I want to be a professional."
He showed his teeth a bit and said, "Well, you definitely know how to swing." I had an appointment for a lesson the next morning.
Until I left for Taiwan a year and a half later I was a daily fixture at the course. On my days off, if I wasn't hiking the San Bernardino Mountains with my cousin David or other friends, I was on the course. Working a lot to perfect my game and getting lots of free lessons and tips from the club pros who were impressed with my driver distance and ability to swing. By the time I left for Taiwan my scores were consistently in the mid-70's.
So I went to Taiwan played a lot there and had a pro that worked with me every time he saw me. By the time I left Taiwan my handicap was a 2. Now, 7 months later it's a 1.2...so I'm widdling down my score and now it's really a matter of consistency. My swing got off plane, but I have been working it back thanks to working with a pro in northern Kentucky almost the entire month of October when I found out I would be auditioning for Big Break on the Golf Channel. My swing change scores initially were horrendous, but now that I'm used to swinging on plane again my scores are back into the low and mid 70's.
Now that you've heard my life story of golf, you get my current dilemma, and the reason I will find it hard to sleep tonight even with all the booze I've drank to try and chill out. I received and e-mail today from a hiring manager today in New York City for a job I applied for back in early September, that I really want. I had given up on the job since I followed up and never heard anything back. I also had kind of given up on golf as a career because I can't afford to play and I assumed eventually I would find a job. Well, I didn't find a job so I kept practicing golf and made it down to the semi-finalist auditions for the Big Break at the end of October. I just put my fundraising packages together so I could try this game full time and possibly go to Q-school in January in Europe to play on the European Tour. I also did surprising well at the audition, I won't hear about being on the show until December.
I am going to pick up everything and go to this interview next week in New York. Another long drive in my car in search of a career. If I get this job do I stay in New York and try to play through the winter at heated driving ranges off the mats or do I pursue golf now, with no money whatsoever other then what I'll get from some backers back home who are impressed with my game?
I know I can do this (golf) and I don't think I'm ready to just give up on my dream. I am however, sick of being poor, sick of living out of my car, sick of couch surfing, sick of borrowing money from my dad for basic stuff like gas and phone minutes, but that's all about to pay off in golf. I planned on turning pro in January. Now I'm trying to weigh all the options and I know some optimistic people will say, "things have a way of working themselves out." But, that's not my experience not my life. Things do not just work themselves out. I'm laid back so I let problems roll over my shoulders and live my life with reckless abandon, but things have not worked themselves out for me ever, except for the case that I'm not a quadriplegic. As far as money or job things go though...things never, and I mean NEVER work themselves out. Especially not as of late. SO I'm freaking out a lot, and I'm going to have to drink myself to sleep tonight or there will be no sleep. If you have any input don't be shy, I know most of you are opinionated and have some good life experience, so go ahead and say what you need to say........In private don't repost in the comments sections, you guys all know my contact info. What the hell is going on? What am I supposed to do? I don't want to screw any of this up right now, not the job, nor do I want to give up golf. I know I have a decision to make, but some input would be much appreciated.
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