Culture Shocked!

So, I'm pretty open-minded to anything and anyone except for religious groups that actively recruit people via bicycles and in-home brain washing.  There are not that many things that really shock me.  I'm not a racist or at least I didn't think I was, but then I saw them: rednecks, hillbillies, honkies, hicks and crackers. 

I have spent the last 3 years of my life living in southern California, Taiwan and Long Island, New York. Yes, each place has its fair share of weird white people, even in Taiwan they have Mormons, but now I find myself living in Kentucky, which has more of a "Merica" feel than an "America" feel.

The most annoying thing about living in Taiwan is pictured above.

Within an hour of landing in Northern Kentucky I found myself at a grille and bar type restaurant that is very popular with the local yocals.  The first family I saw on the patio waiting to be seated looked a lot like this: Father, was a lean guy from legs down and chest up but had a beer belly that made him look 9 months pregnant with triplets.  He wore a black wife-beater with cargo khakis and work boots.  He was probably around 50 years old and was 6 feet tall with unkempt facial hair, not a five o'clock shadow, but as if a badger attached itself to his face.  My guess is that the gaps where he was missing all his teeth was from the constant tobacco chewing he refuses to give up.

Then we have Wifey.  She was 300 lbs of 5 foot nothing with a blue dress on that made me think of all the "yo mama" jokes I could think of.  She was also around 50 with long brown hair and she waddled in such a way that I could see why father found her so irresistible. 

Their son was a good looking young man around my age that if it weren't for the trash stash and matching father-son wife-beater he could possibly be attractive.  I would attribute his manorexia to the copious amounts of meth he does every few days, but hey, life ain't easy.  If it sounds like I'm judging these people, I am.  This was only one family, there were so many others that fit this profile it scared me.

I had forgotten about overalls completely.

Working at the golf course I heard a phrase that I hadn't heard in years, but I added to my vocabulary immediately, "Whiskey Tango."  I think that may be my favorite way to describe the local population.

I am still utterly shocked at how overweight just about everyone here is.  

My little brother and I went to breakfast at a Cracker Barrel, which is like the Wal-Mart of southern cookin' restaurants.  Not only were we the two skinniest people in the restaurant but it would have taken the two of us and then some to equal the girth of a lot of the people sitting around eating biscuits and gravy and deep fried bacon.  

Memorial Day weekend bought with it the taste of Cincinnati.  I feel like the Queen City should probably have a few more recreational and fitness education days, and a little less everyone come down and over-eat on the river weekends.  Maybe the solution would be creating some more space between booths so people have to walk a little further for their brats, goetta, chili and funnel cakes.  I love festivals and eating, but I work out too so I'm not a statistic for fat America.

Overall Cincinnati is a beautiful area but the people here are too church cliquey, vanilla and under-cultured for what I value.